The Black Demon Movie Review - So I guess that the SyFy channel passed on Sharknado 7 so we have a theatrical release of The Black Demon. More like The HACK Demon. How the heck did this low budget dream make it to the big screen??? This is a normal January release when movie companies drop their crap on viewers, not in May. I would rather cover my body in chum and jump off the Santa Monica Pier than see this ever again. If this flick was anymore low budget, they would have used a puppet for the shark scenes. Josh Lucas should consider sticking to the Lowe's commercials as at least he can easily buy a toilet plunger for this crap movie.
AIR Movie Review - If Wikipedia were in the movie business, they could have made this movie. It's a story that is on YouTube and virtually everywhere but, Amazon had extra cash, so here is AIR. The story of basketball legend Michael Jordan's shoe deal, although Michael did not even want to be in this movie. It's a movie about a shoe deal. A shoe deal. The sequel is about Michael's Hanes Underwear deal and the post credits scenes include skid marks. We used the Chinese poster as that's where the shoes are made. Head to Kohl's and ask for your money back via Amazon returns. Two fingers (one for each shoe). 🖕🖕
A Good Person Movie Review - A Good Person is a serious damn Good Movie! I was surprised that Zach Braff wrote and directed this on the nose addiction, amazing movie. Take a break from the CGI theater experience and watch what the amazing Morgan Freeman and Florence Pugh created in this must see journey. Yeah, I seriously wanted to hate this one, however, the only problem with this flick is the lame poster!!! Looks like ET and Elliott! Four fingers held up high! 🖕🖕🖕🖕
Spinning Gold Movie Review - Yes, we absolutely wanted to hate this musical journey of Casablanca Records that had more movie producers involved than hits from KISS. Truth is, it's fantastic and worth your time. IF you love KISS, and many other 70's music stars, this is the movie for you. Sex, drugs, rock-n-roll and a plot. Shut the F up and see it! Five Fingers 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
Dungeons & Dragons Honor Among Thieves Movie Review - Yep the poster says it all as they look in a toilet for the script. This movie is crap. If your fantasy involves being in a Dungeon while someone is Dragon Deez, then this is still NOT the movie for you. Billed as the most Chris Pine movie of all Chris Pine movies, then beam me out of the theater Scotty. The game is superior to this money grab movie that is not true to fans. What's next, Scrabble The Movie, The Battle for Vowels? Two finger 🖕🖕
John Wick 4 Movie Review - It's a BLOCKBUSTER! You know, like the failed movie rental chain! It's long, no character development, weak plot, and don't get me started on those stairs or the blind Ninja!!! The bulletproof underwear, oh the bulletproof underwear.
Since Michael Myers and John Wick both can get shot, hit by cars and stabbed and always be fine in the end, they should do a Wick V Myers movie together called HalloWick! Then at the end, they join forces and kill Freddie. Three fingers 🖕🖕🖕
Since Michael Myers and John Wick both can get shot, hit by cars and stabbed and always be fine in the end, they should do a Wick V Myers movie together called HalloWick! Then at the end, they join forces and kill Freddie. Three fingers 🖕🖕🖕
Shazam! Fury of the Gods Movie Review - Picture that four Movie Execs are sitting in a pitch meeting at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse in Woodland Hills. The pitch is Shazam Fury of the Gods is Harry Potter meets Inception meets Charlie's Angels meets Arbor Day. And they green lit it??? First, shouldn't Billy the teenage Shazam and Billy the "adult" Shazam be similar in body language, speech and interaction?? They in no way seem to be the same person. Maybe it's the lightning bolt up their A every time they transform. DC, are you watching the Marvel Movies to see what works? I mean it's right there. Shazam is the Gomer Pyle of superheros in the Mayberry Universe. If you're lucky, a lightning bolt will hit you and you can pass on this one. Two fingers 🖕🖕
65 Movie Review - Oh no!!! Kylo Wrong why did you take this movie!?! Jurassic Park meets Mission to Mars only they landed on Planet Boring in the too slow system. Think of the opposite of light speed. S L O W. Seriously, sneak in to the last fifteen minutes and save your time. 65 is the grade it receives as a solid "D." If you're having trouble sleeping, attend the whole movie. You will be rooting for the Dinos. Rumor has it that the 6 is for Boring and the 5 is for Movie. So yes, 65! Two fingers held up high! 🖕🖕
Scream 6 Movie Review - "A Family Tradition." Think if Eugene Levy was a killer and then Dan Levy kept up the killing spree resulting in a movie. It would be called "Total Schitt Movie." I can't get my brother to pick up my mail when I travel, but this franchise... dedication. Is the scariest part of this movie Gale Weather's facelift? More sequels are planned so look for Aunts and Uncles to dress like Ghost Face and kept the money, I mean story going. One finger 🖕
Creed 3 Movie Review - I guess the Creed of this movie is that Sylvester Stallone IS Expendable as he is nowhere to be seen in the franchise he created. That said, is this the greatest sequel spinoff movie of all time??? It captures the original Rocky feel with a good story, good writing, good directing and a thrilling ride! We HATE to admit it, but this is a must see! Five boxing gloves !
🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊
Hunt Her Kill Her Movie Review - This movie was so low budget that we think everyone actually worked at the factory where it was shot. First, the "killer" has some damn loyal friends. The main character, uh namely the all night female janitor who works alone, was absurd. We can't rate this movie low enough. Weak plot, weak effects, and rated NR? I am guessing because the rating agent walked out and did not watch until the end. Oh the end, why not just kill her when she answered the door??? Should be called Hunt Her (you knew where she was, so it was like hunting at the zoo), and Attempt to Kill Her. The best kill is with a toilet plunger, how ironic. We rate this one, 1 toilet plunger.
Operation Fortune Movie Review - Well here it is, 000 The Movie. Guy Richie's answer to James Bond only it is slower and had no advertising. A movie star, uh Josh Harnett, is used as bait to uncover an international ChatGPT to disrupt your VENMO. Honestly, you would have had a better operation if the AI wrote the script. The only OPERATION this movie needed was a frontal lobotomy. How did it seem so grand and yet feel low budget? three fingers 🖕🖕🖕
BUNKER Movie Review - So some weeds thrive on war and then drip male, uh, reproductive.... well, you know. Set in WW1, this movie has everything a crap movie should. It's slow, overacted, bad effects and what the hell is the root man!?! Soldiers turn on each other and... you'll be routing for the roots. Why did they not have "The Roots" do the soundtrack and then at least Fallon might have promoted. Do yourself a favor and skip this one. Or better yet, tell your best friend to stay for the post credit scene as it will clarify the plot (there is not one). One finger 🖕
Cocaine Bear Movie Review - Elizabeth Banks directed this, we hate to admit, PURE COMEDY GORE ENTERTAINING RIDE! If you like an insane premise, drugs, laughs and gore, this is the movie for you. No bears were harmed during this movie and rumor has it that the sequel is set in a rehab! We give this one four fingers! 🖕🖕🖕🖕
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania Movie Review - OOHHH imagine if a company owned both PIXAR and Star Wars and mashed them together and said, "Wait! we need to add a Marvel character!" Welcome to the Disney smoothie called Quantumania. James Cameron saw this movie and said "holy crap that's a lot of CGI only it's three hours too short!!!" Disney should have had it all happen in a Disney park and had Indiana Jones save the damn day. This movie should have been released straight to the Cartoon Network. We rate this one two fingers up! 🖕🖕
Knock At The Cabin Movie Review - Knock At The Cabin, don't worry... it's not the Oscars. Think Guardians of the Galaxy (low budget edition) meets Scream, only not the movie Scream, the scream of agony from seeing M Shamma Lama in another cameo. Only it's just $6 to have him do an actual Cameo on your birthday. Back to the review, four randoms that had visions show up at a vacation cabin to get one of the vacationers to sacrifice one of their own. I know what you're thinking, wait until TUBI shows this next week, or tell your best friend it is the best movie of the year. That will be payback for the time you were left with the tab at Chilis. Two fingers 🖕🖕
Halloween Ends Movie Review - All these years and it only took a wood chipper... We've seen Michael hit by cars, stabbed, shot, burned, pushed down a well and blown up. So, he's not supernatural? He just has really good health insurance? Makes sense since the old Myers house in Pasadena is now a doctor's office. So Danny McBride brings in the character Corey, so that he can die too.... after Corey pushed old man Myers down and took his mask... So in the end, it was an appliance that finally stopped Michael Myers. An appliance. Makes sense why Michael never went on a killing spree at Home Depot! One broken finger 🖕
Avatar 2 Movie Review - Avatar too damn long. Is James Cameron the neighbor that you avoid to not get stuck in a two hour conversation? Is there is cutting room floor for his movies? This is a remake of the first one only with water. Like watching a mini series with tailed blue people fighting. Look, even Spielberg tanked with "West Side Story" and this is another "I fell in love with the other side and now you're my enemy" tale of blue tails. Three fingers 🖕🖕🖕
Plane Movie Review - Picture throwing three darts at a board with movie ideas. The darts hit Plane crash, terrorists and escaped convict. You get Passenger 57 meets Con Air meets Rambo meets Gerard as a pilot. Like his career, this one goes down fast. They raised money to make this? Bernie Madoff would have advised against this investment.
MEGAN Movie Review - Producers conversation went like this, "What if Chucky had wifi?" And this was green lit and reached every screen in America. Which actor was the most plastic? Hint, it was not MEGAN. Wait until this one is on YouTube and then drag to the end for best results.
A Man Called Otto Movie Review - Tom, Tom, Tom. It's like Forrest Gump chose this script, when the script should have done what Otto was trying to do the whole movie. How the hell is this listed as a comedy? When was it funny? We figured it out, Tom hates his audience and wants his movies to make you hate going to the theater. If you made this movie, we would love to see the crap you passed on
Missing - Movie Review. Your mom disappears so you hack everyone's accounts. You loved your mom so much you spent $8 an hour to find her. Great writing, great cast. Only the interesting factor was MISSING. "Hey Siri, don't see this movie! 🖕🖕
Violent Night Movie Review - Santa in Die Hard??? WTF and how does this work? Well hell, it worked perfectly!!! WE hate to admit that we loved this freaking movie. Five Fingers 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
Babylon... uhh Movie Review. More like the Ruins of Babylon (read wikipedia). Tobey Maguire, this makes sense why you've not been seen recently. Brad is from Oklahoma and apparently, any crap movie that comes his way gets the OK! Change the diaper on this one! This movie is so long and boring that reading the book backwards would have been more entertaining. Two fingers 🖕🖕
OLD - Something this movie became quickly. We felt like we aged through this two hours and developed arthritis and if could only forget this one. The casting was so bad in this movie that M Night had to cast himself in a major role! Heads up!! It takes us out of the movie to see your Alfred Hitchcock impression! As beach lovers ourselves, we would not have figured out the beach exit?? NO ONE WOULD!!! How did anyone find this beach and live to tell about it??? Two fingers 🖕🖕
Black Widow from the Marvel Universe, uh we mean Disney. A family is reunited to combat a villain that makes a few ladies assassins. Dull characters, no other Avengers showing up, a flat script, a dad super hero who has powers that change? Why could he not escape jail??? A spray of red mist and we are all friends??? The villian's secret "Red Room" could not be found by anyone??? Would rather have been bitten by an actual BLACK WIDOW! Step on this one, two fingers 🖕🖕
Here is a thought. Don't drive to the theater. Walk aimlessly on the longest route possible and don't make it an adventure. And now you have lived this pointless, no action, no fun, too long adventure based on a poem.... The Green Lantern and The Green Knight should take the Green Mile. There is a lot of nothing going on in this movie and the sequel should be called "Slum Dog, THE PILE." One fourth of a finger 🖕
Merry Christmas and Happy WW 1984. We were smart and watched this one HBOMax. Comedian Kristen Wiig as a villain (does this ever work), time travel and The Mandalorian as the bag guy. What could go wrong? Well let's start with the lack of chemistry, the casting, the action, the CGI, the fight sequences and oh yeah the plot!!!! I bet if you throw that lasso around the producers they would admit that this was a money grab. And why Marvel tops DC in the Comic Book and Movie game. Two fingers 🖕🖕
Bumble Bee taking my $18 for a movie ticket.
If Movie Pass were a movie, it would be Bumble Bee.
Is there a plan to release a transformer movie for the rest of eternity? The real sting here is that this was a prequel to the original. Even Shia would motivationally say "Just Do It!" Just see another movie!
Think Bumble Bee hates Rick Astley? Rick hated this movie so much he bought out all the seats in movie theaters in NYC on opening night as a public service after seeing the premiere and noting that these robots beat the smack out of each other and are never really hurt!
If Movie Pass were a movie, it would be Bumble Bee.
Is there a plan to release a transformer movie for the rest of eternity? The real sting here is that this was a prequel to the original. Even Shia would motivationally say "Just Do It!" Just see another movie!
Think Bumble Bee hates Rick Astley? Rick hated this movie so much he bought out all the seats in movie theaters in NYC on opening night as a public service after seeing the premiere and noting that these robots beat the smack out of each other and are never really hurt!
A Star Is Born
This title sounds like the lead into a joke. A Star Is Born... and the doctor slapped the sun
This movie has been remade so many times that it is unclear which version Bradley was basing it off of. Lady Gaga's rise to fame in this movie was so fast it was more like a shooting star... The Grammy scene where Bradley wets his pants was edited from, well, the other bodily accident that describes this flick. Wait, no that happened after every movie exec read this script and saw the casting. What was the story of hiring every out of work comedian to be an actor in this movie? And the Oscar goes to.... Dave Chappell. Will the itunes release have extra scenes that were edited out with Sinbad??? The "Diceman as Lady Gaga's father?" Hickory Dickory dock... this movie was sucking the plot! What the hell? Sinead O'Conner was the original casted female lead before she found out who was playing her father...
This title sounds like the lead into a joke. A Star Is Born... and the doctor slapped the sun
This movie has been remade so many times that it is unclear which version Bradley was basing it off of. Lady Gaga's rise to fame in this movie was so fast it was more like a shooting star... The Grammy scene where Bradley wets his pants was edited from, well, the other bodily accident that describes this flick. Wait, no that happened after every movie exec read this script and saw the casting. What was the story of hiring every out of work comedian to be an actor in this movie? And the Oscar goes to.... Dave Chappell. Will the itunes release have extra scenes that were edited out with Sinbad??? The "Diceman as Lady Gaga's father?" Hickory Dickory dock... this movie was sucking the plot! What the hell? Sinead O'Conner was the original casted female lead before she found out who was playing her father...
Aquaman.... THE MOVIE
Apparently, if you live underwater, you have never heard the story of King Arthur. #Ripoff If there were anymore CGI in this movie it would have been a cartoon. This is why HBO's Entourage was ultimately cancelled! No one wants an Aquaman movie and please don't bring back AquaLad if there is a sequel. If there is a sequel, we hope its called Aquaman "Fish Out Of Water" with Aquaman flopping and gasping.
Apparently, if you live underwater, you have never heard the story of King Arthur. #Ripoff If there were anymore CGI in this movie it would have been a cartoon. This is why HBO's Entourage was ultimately cancelled! No one wants an Aquaman movie and please don't bring back AquaLad if there is a sequel. If there is a sequel, we hope its called Aquaman "Fish Out Of Water" with Aquaman flopping and gasping.
Bird Box.... Bird Brain. Here is how to watch Bird Box :
1. Get a blindfold and put it on
2. Get earplugs and insert them into your ears
3. Take a nap and save your time.
We heard that Sandra was deciding to do THE NET 2 "LAME VIRUS" or Bird Box. She flipped a coin while blindfolded and her agent told her it was Bird Box. Even Netflix asked for a refund...
1. Get a blindfold and put it on
2. Get earplugs and insert them into your ears
3. Take a nap and save your time.
We heard that Sandra was deciding to do THE NET 2 "LAME VIRUS" or Bird Box. She flipped a coin while blindfolded and her agent told her it was Bird Box. Even Netflix asked for a refund...
The House Movie Review. Looks like this one lost. Does Will Ferrell know how to make a funny movie anymore? I BET not. This movie was so bad that I would have rather bet the ticket money on another Saturday Night cast member's Movie tanking. #NoPlot
Wonder Woman the Movie Review... Where was The Rock Dwayne Johnson??? They needed him. She was a kid that grew up and then never aged. Similar to Ryan Seacrest. So she can't be killed because she is a god? Ares killed all the other gods so bad guys get him to kill her then it will be Wonder What TF?? Batman has no powers, Superman always gets nailed by his home rocks, Aquaman is the fish talker, Wonder Woman is a god. HIRE AN AVENGER
Click here to add comments of your own!
Did you see the original Star Wars? Then You've seen this Star Wars! Should have been called THE FORCE SNOOZES ! Spoiler Alert!!!
The Last Stand Movie Review
What's the best part of Agghhhnuld in the Terminator Movies? He dies. The Last Stand acts like an Austrian as a small town sheriff works. Feds lose some prisoners (didn't Cage do this movie?) and the Last Stand is you in the middle of the movie before you demand your money back! Make this movie... Skeltor v. Terminator (The Schwarzenegger Divorce).
Abraham Lincoln Movie Review
Honestly Abe, do we need another movie about you? Are you slaying Zombies or Vampires in this one? No. Spielberg does it again with another "I can't make good movies anymore and will go over budget" approach, and.. we get Abe. Wish we could combine his movies and have Abe fighting sharks, aliens and dinosaurs. Abe is good... the people around him are bad... typical. Oscar is calling only its the one in the trash can. If John Wilkes Booth would have starred in this he would have shot himself!!
Skyfall Movie Review
Dumb da da da Dumb da da da Dumb.... 000 hits box offices again but this time "Q" gives him a special device for a plotless sequel. "M" dies and so does this movie. More like Sky FAIL.
Trouble With The Curve Movie Review
Movie audience to Clint - If you don't have a gun and a catch phrase, we don't care. The real trouble with the curve is that it's a learning curve and you're stupid if you paid to see this crap. Justin Timberlake as a sports scout? Who cast this movie? A teenage girl and Clint Eastwood? This movie would have been more interesting if it had been about a strike with the players driving around listening to NSYNC and eating Spaghetti in a Gran Torino yelling inappropriate things out the window in East L.A. while trying to kill Kevin Costner and Ben Affleck for directing themselves too aaagggghhhhh!!!!
Flight Movie Review
The director of Back to the Future and Budweiser bring this drunken test crash to light. Denzel plays Randy Travis who is a pilot who makes a crash landing... He saves lives but later its discovered that he may have been drunk thus putting him at risk for jail time. Ok, I bet a lot of the audience will be hitting the alcohol while this lame crap fills up the IMAX screen. Rumor is that the in-flight movie was this flick and contributed to the accident.
Cloud Atlas Movie Review
Cloud Crap... Ok, Catwoman, A guy from the Matrix and Funny man Tom Hanks do this movie where their actions impact their souls... uh through time. A Killer becomes a Good Guy and it drones on. I believe that the National Learn To Read Campaign should embrace this big screen time waster. Make kids sit through this movie. It will actually make them rather read the book and increase high school graduation numbers. Or... Send this movie (and the actors) to a country where we are striving for dominance in the brain department.
Here Comes The Boom Movie Review
Kevin James as an ultimate fighter... How could it go wrong? Well he's a Biology teacher. That's where it lost me.
Alex Cross Movie Review
MaDEA. Tyler Perry in an action movie. Come on ........and they are planning sequels................. NOOOOOOOO
Argo Movie Review
Agghhhhhrrrrrr Don't Go. Fake film to get refugees out of the country. Ben Affleck in a fake film? That's all of his films! The blind super hero, remember PAYCHECK and let's not forget the movie with JLO. Note to Ben, please stop making bad movies. More like career has BEN over and has no Affect at box office. At least this one is based on a true story. The only thing worse than a movie starring Ben Affleck is a movie starring and directed by Ben Affleck. Rob Schneider could have done a better job as a guy making a fake scifi flick...
National Treasure 3 Book of Secrets 2014 Movie Review
Cage, pay off your island and leave history to the scholars. Yes, NT3 is coming in 2014 and there is speculation that this time they find a tunnel under the Statue of Liberty and find, you guessed it.... Treasure (or so Cage is telling his tax auditors) Clues, history, Nicholas Cage, it's gonna be a rehash and bet that the Presidents Book will lead to FDR not needing a wheel chair at all. More = Same and Lame...
Taken 2 Movie Review
Should be called Taken your money! Taken 2 the cleaners. This time our main character vacations in Instanbul, uh yeah because everyone should take a vacation there as it is SO SAFE. Wife and Liam get kidnapped and he provides his "special skills" to smash everyone. Oh yeah he was kidnapped by people that hated him from the first movie and did not want a sequel. This movie could have been shorter than the pointless trailer. Catch Liam and kill him.... not torture, let him escape and bang everyone up. I can't wait to see the youtube clips on "how it should have ended." Pure crapola. If you have a bad date you want to end early, Take them to Taken 2 and I promise your night will end before the credits roll.
Red Dawn Movie Review 2012
Oh no. Charlie Sheen making a cameo? Please change name to "Red Done" and release only in Iran so they will suffer. Red describes ledger / box office receipts and Dawn as you will wake up when it's over. Thor should just use the hammer.... on the studio execs. More like Dead Yawn....
Looper Movie Review
Talk about unemployment. A guy is hired to kill a future version of himself that has time traveled back... Since his older self escapes, he is then fired. Confused? Everyone is. Bruce??? Your movie choices keep getting worse. Why not have another "Looper" kill him at his current age and thus no future self... Oh yeah because the future mob sends people back to be killed... oh man save your hard earned money and "Looper" this film. I would personally like to go back in time and join in on the conversation to finance this film and kill IT. Wait for this one on Netflix and then kick your TV after you waste the time watching it.
Dredd Movie Review or should it be Dread??
Ughhhh Judge Dredd is back and this time played by Dr. McCoy of Star Trek. First, HELLO wardrobe can the movie makers please have Dredd's face maintain consistent facial hair? He has stuble then its painted on. If we are going to shoot in High Def pay attention to detail already. The story takes place in a single day!!! The War shields on the building.... yeah ok.. So its a war on drugs this time with a lady in the future in charge of all the gangs (in the building). I actually liked that part! Could the physic chick not just tell that it was a trap? I Judged this movie as Dreadful.
Lawless Movie Review
First, Transformers and now Lawless...SHiloh. A prohibition story that went no where. Much like the law banning alcohol. "Shiloh SHILOH, over here... QUIT making dramas." Stick to the action where no one notices that you stink and the audience is distracted by the CGI. This movie made me want to start drinking, BEFORE I left the theater. The brother can't die even after getting his throat slit and then dies in the end from falling in a cold lake, and Guy (the actor), remake "Time Machine" and go back and punch your agent in the face! This movie felt more like a bad hangover than a bootleg movie that was a love story, no a gangster story, no a.... oh save your money.
Movies! Hunger Games Movie Review
I love movies but parts can make me crazy!!! At the end of the Hunger Games the couple runs from the dogs and get to the ship where they climb up. At the top as they are looking down at the dogs, the only other survivor starts a fight! Why didn't he just push them off to be eaten by the dogs??? He wins, game over! Now go have a sandwich and shut up.
Movie Review Total Recall
What the crap happened here? The original had so many things to offer and this effects driven bad cover song version was poo. Die already Kate Beckinsale. She had more lives that Michael in Halloween! I have Total Recall that I spent $20 on this and Colin, emotions.... Also what genius came up with the piano scene as, after all, if you were on the run you would return to the residence where they know you live and take time to relax and play your piano.... Did he only know one song? Come on...
Ice Age 4 Movie Review
Ice Age 4. How many more Ice Age flicks are they going to throw up? Holy Crab don't give away the best parts in the trailer! Ray Ramono, mono tone... zzzzzzzzz Cute movie if you're having difficulty getting your kids to take a nap. This movie was like watching ice melt in a freezer! Yipes a love story with a giant tusked chick and a rat! Nice.
The Grey Movie Review
The Grey....... Good Lord you were a Jedi... You all jumped a cliff to get down the mountain only to die the most stupid deaths in cinematic history. Then after you traveled what seems like 100 miles you ended up in the Wolf Den. Good thing you had the single serving liquor bottles to put on your fists. Wish you would have punched yourself in the face and then I would have not been so disappointed. Hollywood... The phone rings, the studio says that's one hell of a stupid ending. You finance it yourselves and boom. Failure. You should have followed the plot of "Taken" and made this crap disappear.
The Watch Movie Review
Man ole man. Next time you find a ray gun and blow up a barn, put this movie in it first BEFORE it hits theaters. Ben Stiller, Jonas and Vince and the other dude, when did this sound like a good movie to make? Should one of you enter rehab to work this out??? Maybe you should get Robert Downey to fly in at the end as he is a super hero that made it through a 90 day program. Should have called it "The Don't Watch." Is it true that Jonas wore sunglasses so that no one would know he did this career ending flick???? When this comes to DVD go to your nearest Red Box and unplug it. Don't let anyone else suffer this alien garbage.
Batman The Dark Knight Rises Movie Review
First, these movies don't need to be 11 hours long to tell the damn story. Did I really see Kane break Batman's back only to have the vertabrae pushed back in place by chiropractic wannabe homeless dude in the basement? Obama better fix health care in Gotham City. Now the Batmobile can't be destroyed unless the bad guys are driving one? And Cat woman can ride and shoot on that crazy motorcycle? Too bad his utility belt didn't have a shorter plot. Robin also enters the pic in this one just in time to see Wayne Manor destroyed and a contract stating that no one can look in the Bat Basement. Also, you would think with all the education that Bruce Wayne has that he could speak and be understood when he is the muscle plated Batguy. Let's not forget the super Bruce jump and the 10,000 cops that fell for the under the city gag. The Dark Night is more like a Goodnight and sleep tight.
The Avengers Movie Review
When did superheros become the norm and where the hell was Spiderman??? Isn't this his city?? ME think Thor and Hulk dumb as rocks. The arrow guy? Should have let Stan Lee act that part as he could have done the EXACT same LAME job. When did Captain America become the weakest link? This movie was like watching the Village People save the world. Macho Macho Man! Thor, the bad guy is your brother, can't you just tell Mommy? Big Budget for a Big Disaster or was it just a Big Budget Disaster. At least in Titanic the ship sank and you don't see them rehashing sequels to Titanic.
Brave Movie Review
Dear Disney. Please rehash all past successful movies and just change the names and the landscapes. Oops you already do this. We get it, she wants to make her own decisions and follow her dreams, but does mom need to become a bear? A bear? Just run away already and live your life and then... come back without the spells. I actually wore the popcorn bucket on my head to stop watching this redo of a dozen other movies. It was Brave to release another same story no surprise animated princess movie that lacks originality. PS - I'm still trying to get the butter out of my hair. Next time I will just watch finding NEMO.
Diary of a Wimpy Kid Dog Days Movie Review
Diarrhea of a Stupid Flick Dog Crap. How did they get funding for another one??? There are children starving and money was spent on this? Loaded Diaper should not be the brother's band, it should be the title. Steve Zahn, it's new agent time! Kid likes a girl... Charges up Country Club account... Camping... zzzz and everything works out at the Sweet 16 party except a plot. Pointless pointless pointless. Take your unruly step kids to this one for a time out.
American Reunion Movie Review
It's a reunion this time and everyone gets back together. Oz gets a broadcasting job and the only part I laughed at was the end where Stiffler punched the doc so that Oz and his gal could reunited and dodge a lawsuit. These jokes were already done in the previous movies. One time at Band Camp we watched another pointless sequel. Did anyone else notice that many of the actors have their entire career based off these movies? Where else have you seen them? Gotta admit I do love the actor that plays Stiffler and most everything he does. Seann William Scott is funny and loved him in Role Models. Over all lacked the originality of the first one! I feel like as the movie goer, I was the cherry pie!
Man On A Ledge Movie Review
Push him off already. Man his brother and girlfriend are great and the Mission Impossible bit and really surprised themselves and the cast with this ridiculous plot. No one noticed he was talking to someone else on his tiny ear radio? Really? There was a cop at the window and a dang helicopter! And they fell in love?? Man stick to the Avatar movies where at least you are blue and can fall. I HATED THIS MOVIE and whatever it was trying to accomplish. I threw my overpriced Coke at the movie screen and thought it should be called "Loser on the Ledger." Maybe a press release would be good: "Man with a Pledge to not make a sequel."
Ghost Rider 2 Movie Review
Congress should pass a bill that people would appreciate. Banning Nicholas Cage from making another one of these movies. We know you lost your island to pay the bills but come on.... Evel Knievel hated this movie and he's dead. Why a sequel, did Europe love this movie or something because no one I know thought it was worth the time of the trailer much less to sit and watch this crap. They should have taken this movie and buried it and had Cage find it in National Treasure 14 when it comes out. Pure noise.
Men In Black 3
3? Now we are time traveling? Please take that proctologist silver gizmo and make me forget this movie. Tommy Lee you are a REAL actor and Will and Josh? Please!?!?!?!? A giant roach and more of the same doo doo as before. Watch in part 4 they will start all over and say they erased your memory. By the way do the movie makers think Brooklyn is full of stupid people that don't notice post 911 that black suit wearing dudes are the only one entering that water plant? It's Brooklyn, they would be all up in that story.
Lockout Movie Review
Lockout or was it Escape From New York in space? Really? Where was Snake Plisskin? Lots of one liners which I liked and the bad guy I really liked as he was crazy! Like the folks that financed this movie. Are you really telling me that he had the secret in the lighter the entire movie.... Give us viewers some credit. I wish I would have gotten "locked out" of the freakin theater at least then I could take the money I saved and spend $5.00, purchase Escape From LA, walked through Crenshaw and had my butt kicked. It would have felt better... And that part where the President's daughter is suffocating and he blows the roof and jumps into a room with: A. No oxygen B. Fire Would have consumed what remaining oxygen there was C. He would have passed out! HELLO we are intelligent. Bring back Snake.
The Wizard of OZ Moview Review
Even as a kid I thought this flick was crazy. There is a reason why the remake
was called "The Wiz!" Even Michael Jackson could not move that story along.
Dorothy we never cared and the Scarecrow, Lion or the Tin Can or the jackass
behind the curtain. Retire this flick as all the munkins are surely dead by
now. We represent the zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Next time you watch this movie go ahead and
play Pink F's "The Wall." We don't need no wicked witch...
was called "The Wiz!" Even Michael Jackson could not move that story along.
Dorothy we never cared and the Scarecrow, Lion or the Tin Can or the jackass
behind the curtain. Retire this flick as all the munkins are surely dead by
now. We represent the zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Next time you watch this movie go ahead and
play Pink F's "The Wall." We don't need no wicked witch...
Muppet Movie Review
Ok this movie REALLY bothered us! First Kermit had to sing that song "Rainbow Connection." It bothers me because it says "Why are there so many, songs about rainbows....." Other than Dio singing "Rainbow in the Dark," what the crap are they talking about? And it's a good thing that their old theater is sitting there across from the Chinese Theater in Hollywood and no one developed it in years.... Whatever. The old guys are the only ones that ever deliver and Fozzy Bear could have been replaced with Jar Jar Binks as no one cares about either one. And the fact that a Pig and a Frog are hooking up just makes me hungry. If you paid to see this in the theater then maybe someone should put a hand up your..... and pull your head out!